My last post of Tatum Funnies at 22 months was more gestures and funny things, events not necessarily embarrassing for me. Boy have the times changed.
In preparation for a pool day with a new friend today, I shaved my armpits and got myself ready for the day. As we're laying out on the towel, T pokes her finger into my armpit and says, "EEEeeew Mama! Hairy!" Are you serious child? I wasn't even hairy!
We walked to the subway near an odd-duck girl, maybe in her thirties who clearly had some kind of diagnosis, and chose to wear cat ears as fashion. After eyeing her for a few minutes Tatum made great efforts to make a new friend who clearly shared her passion for cats saying, "Hellooooo Kitty!" She repeated that, waving desperately trying to get a wave, or even a glance acknowledging her efforts. It never came.
We were on a crowded subway car during rush hour one day when an Asian man inched closer and closer to Tatum's stroller making room for new people. He was non-creepily looking at her, being nothing but pleasant when Tatum points straight at his face shouting "Eyes. Sleepy! Sleepy eyes." Wow, suuuuper humiliating.
Boarding our flight to California, Tatum walks down the jetbridge and onto the plane on her own, goes into the first row (which is coincidentally where we were seated) hops up on the seat, opens her window, does her buckle, tucks Lambie in, and then, while I am stowing my backpack overhead, she proceeds to tap on the elbow and tell the business traveller beside us "buckle belt, now. Take off, NOW! <insert shrill screams of excitement>" Okay bossy pants!
We sat beside a man with a big tattoo of a rabid dog on his tricep, "Oooh, scary! SCARY dog! AhhhH! Scary!" He didn't know what to say. The dog was super scary!
On that same bus ride home from Target (with the curtain rod) that I wrote about earlier, we finally got seated and after 3 minutes, she looks next to her at the 20-something girl with scars all over her inner wrists and says right to the stranger's face: "Uh oh. UH OH! Cut. CUT! OUchie!!!" How am I supposed to recover from that?!?